Simply Jokes~

ONE
Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don't try to be funny. Imean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

TWO
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and No.

THREE
A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."

FOUR
Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master: Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer: I bet you, it won't.
Post Master: Why not?
Customer: It's addresed to Mumbai.

FIVE
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
Patient: My trouble is that I keep forgetting things.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: How long has what been going on?

SIX
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love.

SEVEN
1st thief: Oh! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window.
2nd thief: But this is 13th floor.
1st thief: Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

EIGHT
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me.
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born.

NINE
Teacher: Correct the sentences, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student: A cow and a bull is grazing in the field.
Teacher: How?
Student: Ladies first.

TEN
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card!.

ELEVEN
Customer: Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter: Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer: No, I can't.
Waiter: Then does it really matter?

TWELVE
Customer: Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter: Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

THIRTEEN
Customer: Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do? Call a lifeguard?

FOURTEEN
Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

FIFTHTEEN
Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?

SIXTHTEEN
Teacher: Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

Notes: Haha...;p those jokes was actually a stupid jokes... But not bad~ enjoyed!!